Walnut prices in Xinjiang were down this year due to tariff issues and Murat Azizi wasn’t standing for it. A convoy to Beijing to dump the harvest in complaint was in order, he insisted.

Polat Kadeer shook his head. That was wasteful. He loved his walnuts. Also, he hated driving his truck in Beijing traffic. Gave him a headache.

What they really ought to do was disguise the underpriced walnuts as Cordyceps Fungi and sell them for $75,000 per kilo to purveyors of Chinese traditional medicine in San Francisco.

A little hair dye and an Xacto knife should do it.

Thanks to Fiona Reilly of Life on Nanchang Lu for the photo and for listening in on farmers’ conversations in the park in Hotan, Xinjiang.

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